Living with STDs

How to Safely Have Sex with Someone Who Has an STD

Jan 1, 2025

Black gay couple hugging
Black gay couple hugging
Black gay couple hugging

When engaging in sexual activity with a partner who has a sexually transmitted disease (STD), it’s essential to prioritize safety, communication, and protection. While some STDs are treatable and manageable, others are not curable. Understanding how to minimize the risks associated with STDs can help ensure a safer experience for both partners. This guide provides tips on how to safely have sex with someone who has an STD while keeping both individuals' health in mind.

1. Open and Honest Communication

Before engaging in any sexual activity, communication is key. Discuss your partner’s STD status openly and honestly. Share relevant information about the specific STD they have, as well as how it can be transmitted. Some STDs, like herpes or HIV, may require additional precautions, while others might be more easily managed with medication. Having a candid conversation about your risks, concerns, and boundaries ensures that both partners are on the same page.

2. Get Tested Regularly

Both partners should get tested for STDs regularly. Even if symptoms are not present, many STDs can be asymptomatic, meaning they show no signs or symptoms but can still be transmitted. Regular testing is the best way to know your status and prevent unknowingly passing on an STD to your partner. Discuss with your healthcare provider how often you should get tested based on your sexual activity and any potential risks.

3. Use Protection

Condoms and dental dams are some of the most effective ways to prevent the transmission of STDs during sex. While condoms don’t offer 100% protection, they significantly reduce the risk of many STDs, including HIV, gonorrhea, and chlamydia. If your partner has a visible STD outbreak, like genital herpes, it’s important to avoid direct contact with the affected area. For oral sex, use a dental dam to reduce the risk of transmitting infections like herpes or human papillomavirus (HPV).

4. Consider Medication

For some STDs, antiviral medications can help lower the risk of transmission. For example, individuals living with HIV can take pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) to reduce the chances of passing the virus to their partner. Similarly, people with herpes can take antiviral drugs to decrease the likelihood of spreading the virus, especially during outbreaks. If your partner is on any medication to manage their STD, discuss it with them to understand how it may affect the risk of transmission.

5. Avoid Sex During Outbreaks

If your partner has a viral infection like herpes, the best time to have sex is when they are not experiencing an outbreak. Viral outbreaks increase the chances of transmission, as the virus is more likely to spread through open sores or skin-to-skin contact. It’s essential to wait until the sores are healed and the risk of transmission is lower.

6. Be Mindful of Your Own Health

Your health is just as important as your partner’s. If you have any concerns or feel uncomfortable with the situation, don't hesitate to communicate your needs. Protect yourself by keeping your immune system strong, getting vaccinated (if available, such as for HPV or hepatitis B), and maintaining healthy hygiene practices before and after sex.

7. Consider Your Long-Term Health and Relationship

When deciding whether to have sex with someone who has an STD, consider the long-term impact on both your relationship and your health. If your partner's STD is manageable and you are both committed to practicing safe sex, the relationship can remain healthy and fulfilling. However, if the risks feel too great or if you have personal boundaries that are difficult to overcome, it's essential to reassess the situation and prioritize your well-being.

Conclusion

Having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t necessarily mean you will contract the disease, but it does require responsible and informed decision-making. By practicing safe sex, getting tested regularly, communicating openly, and taking necessary precautions, you can reduce the risks and maintain a healthy sexual relationship. Remember, safety is key to both physical and emotional well-being in any sexual encounter.

If you or your partner are unsure about how to proceed, consider consulting a healthcare professional who can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation.

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Don’t Know What Could Be Causing Your Symptoms?

Get the complete STD test panel and take control of your health!

Don’t Know What Could Be Causing Your Symptoms?

Get the complete STD test panel and take control of your health!

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Dr. Emily Carter

Dr. Emily Carter is a highly experienced sexologist with a passion for fostering healthy relationships and promoting sexual education. She actively supports the LGBTQ+ community through consultations, workshops, and awareness campaigns. Privately, she conducts research on how sexual education influences social acceptance.